I went to Tampines to see a doctor regarding my hand. The problem has been going on for ages and I finally made up my mind to consult a professional, instead of bringing worries with me to camp. The polyclinic was crowded. It was full of elderly people and mothers with their children. Ahh.. It was a long wait and my mind wandered to the time when I was in primary school. I didn't even know what NS was. My cousins are about the same age as me and I seldom heard stories of it. Secondary school made me more conscious of NS. Still, I didn't think it will make a great difference to my life, nor would it affect me a slightest bit. Well, I was sure I would be just a normal soldier since I wear specs and I am the only son. JC made me more aware of the physical requirements of NS. However, being the lazy me, to hell with NS! I did my part during PE and nothing more after that, except playing soccer.

Now, here I am, 2 days to enlistment. All kinds of thoughts and regrets rushing through my mind like some pressed-for-time train. What if I had trained up earlier? What if I had joined a uniformed group in sec school? What if I had rejected commandoes outright? No use thinking about it now. It is amazing how fast 18 years pass. It will be unbelievable how fast 2 years pass.

My personal training programme is losing steam. I am not improving as fast as I need to be. I am very certain I will get selected for extra training. I will also pull my whole platoon down with me. I hate that. I hate relying on others. I also hate dragging others down with me. But God is with me. I have to find solace in God again. I feel so guilty having to look for him only when I am helpless and miserable. I'm bringing a bible with me. Praise the Lord!