Sentosa

One of the games I played today was horrible. 30 guys had to lie down on the sand, facing alternate directions, and starting from the left, each guy had to roll over 29 bodies to the extreme right. I counted there were 2 cycles that we did. So, in all, 58 bodies rolled over me. Some legs were kicking wildly at my head. Some were spraying sand all over my face and body like nobody's business. One guy even had the nerve to stick his toe into my mouth. Luckily I have big teeth, and managed to keep most of it out. I won't be surprised if someone actually kissed me without my knowledge. All in all, it was a mad, chaotic, disgusting, nauseating, dirty, gay affair. 30 guys rubbing each other with sand, and what's worse, laughing and screaming while doing it. I ended up spitting out all the sand and rubbing the abrasions all over my body. Hello! I just returned from MC! After that game, I decided I was not feeling well to participate in the other games. End of the day for me. Thank God I still have my head intact.

Mood

I bought a saxophone with piano music CD last week. It is awesome. I can't wait for the day I am able to drive along Orchard Road, at night, during Christmas, with the music playing. If only that moment would never end. I wouldn't mind staring out at the vast ocean, on a beach, under a clear starry sky, with the full moon shining brightly, and the waves keeping as quiet as possible and the music playing in the background. Now, that IS enjoying life.

I am going to Sentosa tomorrow. Some squadron anniversary. I just recovered and they want to bake me. I shall cough and cough in front of all the food and sneeze into the sea. Crap, the sea is already dirty enough. I just hope I don't have to touch water tomorrow. I'm still sick. They don't care. Actually neither do I.

I almost forgot. I didn't get the double degree course I wanted. A little disappointed. But I tried, so I have no regrets. (,") There is always another chance.

Sick

It was horrible. I felt really sick this morning. It reminded me of that 5-day high fever period last year. Totally had no energy to move and the heat in my body was unbearable. I had to drag myself up to see a doctor. Viral infection he says...1 day MC. So I'm home now, instead of going back to camp on a nice Sunday night. Having a wicked pain in my head. Every time I stand up, it will attack my head from the sides. I was right, I was really sick during chalet. No wonder I didn't feel myself then.

Wouldn't it be interesting to know about our futures? I don't mean knowing when we will die or whatever. I mean, who will be the richest, get married first, have lots of girlfriends, become famous etc. It came to my mind when the girls were playing some strange game yesterday. If only it could really tell our future. How interesting it would be. All of us underwent the same education together, but what separates us is our character. It is that which determines our future. But then again, people do change. A nerd now might become a dashing movie star in future. Oh well, we can only dream of what our friends would become. Only time would tell. Yes, only time would tell. 10 years ago, I would laugh my head off if you told me I am going to study law. But 10 years has changed everything, including myself.

I've uploaded the pictures in the 'Photos' link.

Chalet

Class gatherings have always been such special occasions for me. They have always held top priority in my timetable. It is wonderful, meeting people you have known for a long time, yet not seen them for a long time. There are so many things to talk about, to do, to think back on the good old days. All of us have matured in one way or another. Nevertheless, we still hold true to the strong friendship which brings us back together time and again. We meet so many people in our lives, but how many of them do we actually see again after our time with them is up? Soon, our memories of them will fade and a big gap would be left in our memory. It was a fantastic chalet, although I was feeling a little sick. I guess it was because of the late nights last week. Anyway, I was pleasantly surprised that we were having a bbq. Good thing the others weren't as lazy as me.

Some things are meant to remain as memories. That is the sad truth that many of us try to fight. Sometimes, things are better left as it is because they would become sweet memories in the future. Fighting for them would probably result in unhappy moments and shattering the once perfect impression of it. Yes, it is horrible not being able to have it. In fact, it opposes one of my rules in life. However, I realised we have to choose which we want to become part of our memory. Things that when we think back, we don't regret not having fought for it, too much.

Personality Test

Things to do on a boring Sunday morning: do a personality test. Thank you Siyun. I have to admit that some(5) of it really hit the spot. But I'm not saying which.

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx


Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
Your views on educationYou may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Blogging

I just renovated my blog, if that is what you call it. It was worth every minute of it I tell you. This is my own personal thing and I tend to treat such things better than others. When I first started to blog, I wanted to record down all my thoughts and events throughout my growing up years. I felt a great sense of pity that I lost touch with the first 10 years of my life and now, I am trying to capture my transition into adulthood. I remember preparing for my A levels when I first started to blog. It was a perfect moment to start. No matter what my results turn out to be, it is the process that matters. I penned down my targets, my frustration, my exasperation, my disappointment, my joy. The 2 thing that I have failed to put into my blog, after these 2 years, are my deepest thoughts and feelings. Of course, who would want to let the whole world know their secrets. The things I blog about are just superficial things, but the real feelings, I have to keep to myself.

Sometimes, there is this sensation of implosion in me, I can't tell anyone about it and yet I have to let it out. Blogging only served as a minor output, but the rest of it, who would ever know? Let it out, some people might say. However, these are the things which can't be told to anyone, except to someone outside my social circle, someone who can't tell anyone I know about it, someone who don't know alot about my life. Otherwise, I have to keep it all to myself. Nevertheless, I still wish to pen them down somewhere no one will find. Fact is, these thoughts and feelings are the most precious. It makes me the person I am now.

How I wish I could read the minds of others, then I can stop guessing. How I wish I have the courage to be as honest and straightforward as I want others to be to me. It is only then, that things can be resolved quickly without anticipation and waiting. Will it be possible?

I am not referring to any event in particular. It is just a random thought of mine. (,")

Disillusioned

Disillusioned.. Well... that's what I am. I have little to report for the past week. Basically its sad stuff. The disappointment is really overwhelming. The only nice thing was the dinner yesterday.

I went for my Advanced Trainfire Package(ATP) on Tuesday and Wednesday. In simple terms, it is a live range test. The reward for marksmanship is $200 and a badge. In monetary terms, it is worth 1/3 my monthly salary. I was really eager to add it to my list of achivements. Up to that point, I have not fired a shot for more than 4 months. Tuesday was our practice day and I didn't make the mark for marksmanship(I am required to score at least 22/28). That made me really nervous, yet excited on Wednesday. Truthfully, I have always enjoyed shooting and that made me even more determind to succeed.

There were 16 day shots. I hit the first 8, and my assistant complimented me. Gosh! The golden rule of Singaporeans: Never compliment them in the middle of something. Result: I only hit 5 of the remaining 8. I can only miss 3 more out of the 12 for the night. Night is more tricky than day obviously, and my eyes turn watery at night(time to sleep). The previous night I scored a 0/9, owing to either my 'excellent skills', or a problem with the target. And so, I went for my night shoot with enormous pressure of wanting to win that title. Even while aiming, I could feel my heart thumping, and my fingers start to get fidgety. I scored the first 3, 6 more to go. My perspiration started to drip down my brows. I hit another 3. Just 3 more to go. This time it was in a standing position. I had trouble contolling my breathing now. I was really excited. I held my rifle as firmly as I could and smiled to myself. This is the moment. 1 went down easily. My rifle began to sway slightly but I managed to hit the second. 1 more, just 1 more. I took a deep breath and fired off my third. I thought my aiming was off for a moment, but when the target went down, I knew it was my day. I met the criteria with 3 shots to spare. It was only then that I felt the first cool breeze that night. Whew! What a range, what an accomplishment. Well deserved.