Blogging

I just renovated my blog, if that is what you call it. It was worth every minute of it I tell you. This is my own personal thing and I tend to treat such things better than others. When I first started to blog, I wanted to record down all my thoughts and events throughout my growing up years. I felt a great sense of pity that I lost touch with the first 10 years of my life and now, I am trying to capture my transition into adulthood. I remember preparing for my A levels when I first started to blog. It was a perfect moment to start. No matter what my results turn out to be, it is the process that matters. I penned down my targets, my frustration, my exasperation, my disappointment, my joy. The 2 thing that I have failed to put into my blog, after these 2 years, are my deepest thoughts and feelings. Of course, who would want to let the whole world know their secrets. The things I blog about are just superficial things, but the real feelings, I have to keep to myself.

Sometimes, there is this sensation of implosion in me, I can't tell anyone about it and yet I have to let it out. Blogging only served as a minor output, but the rest of it, who would ever know? Let it out, some people might say. However, these are the things which can't be told to anyone, except to someone outside my social circle, someone who can't tell anyone I know about it, someone who don't know alot about my life. Otherwise, I have to keep it all to myself. Nevertheless, I still wish to pen them down somewhere no one will find. Fact is, these thoughts and feelings are the most precious. It makes me the person I am now.

How I wish I could read the minds of others, then I can stop guessing. How I wish I have the courage to be as honest and straightforward as I want others to be to me. It is only then, that things can be resolved quickly without anticipation and waiting. Will it be possible?

I am not referring to any event in particular. It is just a random thought of mine. (,")