I've been training my arm muscles today. Train until I can't do anymore pull-ups or push-ups. My only concern is the running part. That has always been my weakness. As the days go by, I fell the sense of loss in me grow. This is the first time I have no idea about what's going to happen and there is no direction in my life. I'm not afraid of the tough training, I worry about other things. Minor things like my family, May and how the people inside are going to torture us. Since young, I hate being scolded. I remember one incident in secondary school when I was scolded by an unreasonable teacher just before a Chem paper. It totally took my focus off the paper and it took me more than a week to put the incident behind. I believe this is the first mental test of army life, and it will not be the last.

I completely lost interest in my games this afternoon. No prizes for guessing why. I tried the tv but there was nothing interesting. Then I tried the army guidebook I got from CMPB. It soothed me down somewhat as I got a clearer look at army life. However, it only showcased normal military life. What I am about to undergo is not normal, but special military training. Nevertheless, it offered me the little comfort that I need. Dear Lord Jesus, please help me pass through this difficult period.