After so many days at home, I feel so attached to the civilian world already. How I wish I could stay at home for the next 2 years and not go back. Ya I know it's impossible. For the sake of staying in the course, I have to go back today even though I haven't recovered. Actually I don't know what I can do when I get there. I can only participate in the live firing tomorrow. It's going to be fun yet tiring. I have to go back to camp early today to pack my stuff. It's going to be a challenge trying to squeeze all my stuff in again. Argh.. My mind is in a whirl now. What if I still have to re-course after going for this field camp? It would be a total waste of my time. And what if my condition worsened? It is not wise sacrificing my health just to complete BMT. Oh well, I have to go back today and that's it. Whatever happens......just leave it to fate. Life has become so unpredictable.

Actually I tried to look at things from another perspective. If I had to re-course, I will only start in a few months' time. In the meantime, I will take up some slack job in some camp. Most likely it will be 8-5 job. Getting to go home everyday is a blessing. In addition, if I end up doing BMT in Tekong, it will be much easier than in Pasir Ris Camp. The only downside is going through the life of a recruit all over again. Oh no.. I shouldn't think of slacking. The more I think of it, the more I resent going back. I have to shut out all negative thoughts and set off with optimism. It's only less than a month before I finish my job.