Last year this time, I was afraid. I was afraid I will not be able to take the army life. I was strong outside, but inside I was really afraid and worried. Enlisting in commando made it worse. No matter how I consoled myself, I felt worse instead. I was very sure 2005 would be the most wasted year in my life. I would just be a caged zombie in one of the SAF camps. I was really down and 2005 seemed bleak.

Now that 2005 is over, my thoughts have changed drastically. Zenon is right. Being a soldier hardens a person. I am not sure if I have got used to the life or I have really become strong to take things as they come. Although at some points of this year, life was really meaningless and there was no motivation to look forward to the next day. It was monotonous. The journey was long, difficult and tiring. Just like a endless route march. The end is nowhere near and there is little reason for taking another step. However, gradually, I found someting new in every step. The key is to know where I want to go. Every step is for a reason. I began to control my steps, I began to head to my destination. I had a goal. That is my turning point in 2005.

After that, everything seemed to go like a train on on its tracks. It was smooth and there was a great deal of motivation. My self-esteem shot up like a rocket. I began a changed person. None of you knows what this mean. That's because you haven't seen me throughout this year. Even I was surprised at my change. I was really 2 complete different persons. 2 different personalities. Too bad, the only person who will ever know is me. I am where I am because of my change in mindset. Nothing else. And this is not yet my peak. That's the main thing.

Although 2005 is not exactly a year of joy and achivements, it was certainly one which moulded me into a better, stronger person. It did not change my character, it added more things to it. It gave me insight, it taught me higher levels of hard work, determination, motivation and humility. So you see, 2005 wasn't a waste of a year. It was a major preparation for my life ahead. It was a slap on my face to wake me up and learn the ropes of adulthood.

I don't know what to expect of 2006. But even before it came, I was anticipating it to be a very special year. I don't know why. It is just a gut feeling. I feel excited about it. I have no fears nor worries whatsoever about it. Something great is going to happen. I am sure about it. We shall see....

2006 Resolutions:
1. Get more muscles everywhere.
2. Run 9.30 minutes for 2.4km
3. Get tanned.
4. Get into Law/Business double.
5. Be more sensitive
6. Make full use of my remaining time in NS.
7. Learn driving.
8. Go on a holiday with friends/family.
9. Spend X'mas overseas.
10. Learn computer.
11. Get a laptop.
12. Be more generous.
13. Be more active.
14. ORD peacefully.

There are many others. But it would lose its meaning if I listed such a long list. In short, I want to be a better person and that all my wishes come true. Short and sweet.

Happy New Year to all!!! Sms system jammed now. Can't send out any messages. May all of you have an extremely fruitful year ahead. Just remember time is precious and no matter how tough the going gets, it will always come to an end. Enjoy every second of your life and good luck in whatever you do!!

To the guys who spent the last hours of 2005 with me, thank you for coming! It was a great way to end such a unique year. (",)