Perfection

How can I puruse perfection when I don't even know what I want? I never like to spend lots of time to choose carefully. I rely alot on my feelings. Different people have different ideas of perfection. My idea of it is it should be everlasting. But is it ever possible? How much effort will it take to keep it that way? Or am I just trying to hit jackpot?

I have been having dreams. So I realised, that is what I have been thinking subconsiously. Is it true? Will I have the courage to pursue it? It all seem so distant at this moment of time. I am not ready for it yet.

Will anyone be able to figure out my thoughts? Or even what I am writing about? I doubt so, because I don't want people to know. So why am I writing this? So that when I refer back in future, I will refer back in regret.