Motivation

I need something to keep me going. I need something big to happen soon. I feel....I can't describe the feeling. I was reading a book recently. And this guy was working crazy hours. More than 12 hours a day. And I thought maybe I would be like him next time. Even now, I wish I had so much work to do that keeps me from thinking about other stuff. I hate to face up to the harsh reality. The only thing I can do, and that's what I always do, is to ignore it. Then people will wonder why aren't I affected. What they do not know is the pain beneath the facet. Like during my uncle's funeral.

Sometimes I wish I had someone to bare my soul to. But some things just can't be told. Not yet. Wait till I come to terms with reality, before I decide on which course to take. My ORD is coming, but I don't seem to bother. There are other things on my mind right now.