Relationships

That term has a whole new meaning for me. I have been pampered all my life. I know that relationships need to be worked on by all parties. I know it, but i don't do it. The people around me have been strong and healthy. There is always a tomorrow to talk to them, to understand them, to please them. I am the king and everyone has to suit me.

Everything has changed.

In a year, I have lost 2 relatives, including my beloved grandmother. I saw them wither away. One week, conversation was possible. Next week, eye contact or body actions translated into words. And the next, they were in their own world. There is no more tomorrow to talk to them, to please them. There were only regrets. I love to push my studies till the last minute. That is for a good reason, I'm afraid I would forget everything and waste my early efforts. Relationships are different, so I learnt. A good early foundation is essential. I found out too late.

I am lucky. God gave me another chance. He gave me the best parents in the world. And most importantly, he gave me the chance and time to fix our relationships. At least now, I have early warning. I see the effects of hard work being put in. I am still learning. It is like forging a sword. It takes time and hard work. But the result would last me an entire lifetime. I am no more the king. I have become a lowly peasant, learninig the ropes of life. Relationships, the basic foundation of life. It's wicked irony. To hell with those difficult maths or science questions. How can I ace them without realising the importance of forging bonds with the people around.

I always blame myself for letting people down. That's all I do. Normally, I would look through my mistakes in school, write them down and never commit them again. Now, I am taking that example and applying it here. Finding out what went wrong and don't ever think of going the same way. Puppy love. It's a new meaning. I am too old for it. And I'm not being fair if it is still part of my life. Love relationships are a different story altogether. I mean that kind of love. It takes more than building and maintaining it. It also needs a goal to where I want to bring it to. And I do not know it myself. It is difficult taking the role of a guy. Much is expected and much needs to be sacrificed. Alot of thought needs to be put into the decision of starting it. That single spark of passion needs to be considered very carefully. And after all that has happened, I told myself the next time it starts, it has to rage into an inferno of passion. Unstoppable and never ending. But is it possible to find the perfect fuel. That is the anticlimax. I might find myself old and alone. It is hard to say. Hard to say.

So, relationships form a new meaning altogether. I cannot be selfish and I cannot be rash. All this boils down to maturity in though and action. At the end of the day, whether my life has been a happy one depends on how good my family, social and love life is. And this is not just plain talk, I have started putting it into action already.