Hmm...

I remember this feeling. Although it was many years ago, it is still very familiar. Back then, it was as though someone sucked my life energy out of me. No matter how funny the jokes are, how happening my friends are, I remain unmoved. The only thing that perked me up was when the sun set. I would hug my hp while I watch tv, bring it down to the dining table and even to the toilet while I shower. I was just waiting for one thing and when it happened, the day was a beautiful one.

Of course, I don't do such silly things now. But the feeling is the same. No matter how much I mature, some things would still affect me just as much. I am not the kind who would think twice about doing something that I really want to do. When I see something I like, I will buy it. When I see something beautiful, I would snap it. Naturally when I meet a girl I like, I will make a move. Apparently that is not what I am doing now.

Things start to get complicated. Items start to get expensive, beautiful things start to be gone in a flash, girls start to be unfathomable. With all these clouding my mind, it also starts to get difficult to be decisive.

I am driving along a one-way expressway without any destination in mind.
Suddenly my vehicle broke down. I have the tools to repair it. But suddenly I see a town in the distance. I fall in love with it at first sight. But what if it is a mirage? Or what if it isn't what I have been looking for after all? If I make for the town, my vehicle might be gone if I decide to continue my journey. But if I ignore the town, I might come to regret it later. So I sit by the road and ponder, but I hear the storm coming. I have to make this decision quickly. If only God would allow an angel to deliver a brochure of the town to me, to tell me all I need to know and if the town would welcome me.

Well, if only.

I have the urge to just fix the damn vehicle and be gone in the wind.